This is a pic of me staring down my camera while I prepared myself to put my face on YouTube and tell my Starseed Awakening story. There is something about this picture. For days I couldn’t stop staring at it, even though I typically find looking at photos of myself to be cruel and unusual torture. Finally, I understood. This mysterious photo (which my camera took by itself for no apparent reason) captured the moment I passed through my Gate to the 4D Bridge.
It was the Scorpio Supermoon of 2021, and I could feel the transformative energy overflowing all around me. I knew I was being called to show my face and share my story. I had been working myself up to filming this particular video for over a year, but I had no idea that sharing that video would be the smallest reflection of my Scorpio Full Moon experience. Two days after filming it, on the first day of Pluto Retrograde, my beloved cat, Bear, left his body. My grief was as you would expect, but even that was outshone by the consciousness-expanding experiences that followed.
I learned that even death (transformation) happens in divine timing. (ESPECIALLY death happens in divine timing.) I learned that I co-created Bear's moment of transformation with him, and that he chose me to be his special assistant because he trusted me to see him through the process with as much ease as possible. While preparing his body for burial (unknowingly burying him in a leyline), I remembered lives where I was intimately acquainted with death. I remembered that if I am to leave the 3D construct behind, then I must fully understand that death is not the horror that my human mind perceives it to be. I learned that witnessing Death is a spiritual initiation like no other, if you can raise your consciousness beyond your grief and experience the true multidimensional nature of consciousness.
In the following weeks, I flowed through several intense mystical initiations (I can only describe a few here). In a parallel life, I visited an ancient temple and was welcomed as a long-lost Priestess. Women had tended the temple for centuries, but they had lost the light of our ancient wisdom. They invited me to conduct a ceremony that would return wisdom to those who seek it. I entered the Cave of Initiation, an underground hot spring, and returned my body to the warm, watery womb of the earth. I held a candlelit vigil for the entire night. In another experience, I left my body, visited Bear, and released the low-frequency emotions of grief and horror. For several days the Blue Beings surrounded me and a million magickal moments streamed together.
My third eye opened wider, bringing my hearing and sight online to a starling degree. I could feel the Void all around me, could feel the infinite timelines available to me, and could perceive all of the False Light (“dark shine”) distractions buzzing in my periphery. I became aware of several of my parallel selves and could feel the space between us dissolve. I traveled through quantum tunnels and learned to witness my parallel lives. This began the work of synchronizing my Selves and creating the non-linear network that is my higher consciousness. I witnessed the Goddess returning to my experience of Earth and spent three days resonating with Sekhmet energy. I saw the White Light shine out from my heart, and I experienced Dissolution as I returned to the Light. As I type this, I can feel the Inner Light glowing and moving and speaking underneath my skin. I took responsibility for the fact that I am literally creating my past, present, and future in every moment. I was only able to navigate all of this because I allowed a massive upgrade to my inner knowing and a huge purge of 3D constructs.
At this point in my journey, I could identify a new and bewildering awakening when I experienced it. And this one was big. I just knew: I was “officially” navigating the 4D Bridge. My guides let me settle into this knowing for a few days before confirming, loud and clear: “You have passed the gates. The 3D construct is your home no more.”
As I processed all of this, I found that I was no longer a vibrational match for half of the things in my life. One week off turned into a month-long inner journey. I literally and figuratively cleaned out my closet, getting rid of all kinds of things that I loved but could no longer carry with me. Suddenly everything had to go. This included many of my thoughts, habits, and practices. My inner knowing was stronger and clearer than ever before, and my relationship with my tarot cards shifted overnight. I used to draw cards to receive guidance on basically anything, including yes/no questions, advice on my next steps, and help seeing potential outcomes of decisions both big and small. But I woke up one morning and knew this had to change. These practices simply no longer fit with my experience of reality.
I know I create my reality with my vibration. I know I have infinite possible past timelines and infinite possible future timelines. I know I navigate the quantum by putting my awareness on my authenticity and feeling for soul-aligned action in every moment. So...what exactly was I doing when I asked my cards (or anything else) for a yes/no, or for a projected outcome, or for details about a past life? I was entertaining my human mind and pulling myself out of alignment. I was imagining that there was a correct answer, a best course of action, a static past, or a predetermined future, but none of these things exist! There is only my awareness and what I choose to be aware of. There is only creation and what I choose to create through my alignment. From this moment forward, I choose to align with transcendent consciousness. I choose to be an instrument of my soul and align with its desires at every choicepoint. I choose to commit to the highest pathways of spiritual service.
I am explaining all of this because these shifts in consciousness directly affect the tarot readings that I do for clients. When all of the above sunk in, I deleted most of the listings in my shop in a fit of Scorpionic Transformation. I wasn’t sure how to move forward, but I knew I had to make space for a new approach. Afterall, the readings I do for others must mirror how I do readings for myself. This means I can’t answer specific questions anymore. No more yes/no questions, no more guidance on what decision to make, no more “what planet am I from?” and no more “who was I in a past life?” Our past lives exist in superposition until we observe them and claim them as real, so if you allow me to tell you who you were, you are allowing me to create your past. I no longer choose to do that, just as I would not choose to tell you what your favourite food is or what course of action is most aligned for you. This was an important lesson for me to learn about Guidance without Interference.
I also won’t be doing further readings on 3D topics such as romance, career, or human life problems. When I do readings on these things for myself, I can feel my mind pulling me down into my past and into my worries about the future. This draws me back into the 3D construct, and that’s not where I want to be. When I do 3D-themed readings for clients, I also feel my consciousness being pulled down out of a clearer channeling state and into my human mind, which doesn’t allow me to be of highest service. I want to be looking onwards and upwards and outwards into abstract cosmic frequencies.
For a few days, my human mind was quite anguished over these decisions, because I have deeply loved doing these kinds of readings for clients in the past, and I know that ceasing them will disappoint a few people. I also don’t want anyone to think that 3D readings are somehow “wrong.” That’s not what I mean at all! When we are in the 3D construct, then we are a vibrational match for guidance on 3D things. This is perfect. Anything can be beneficial and aligned for you; it just depends on what you choose to align to...and whatever you choose to align to is perfect! Since my consciousness has shifted, I simply need to shift how I do readings so that they match my current vibration.
I also had to increase my prices, which gives me that Nine of Swords anxiety, but my inner guidance system has been on my ass about this for several months. Doing a reading puts a heavy energetic load on me that goes beyond the time it takes to create the video (or even do a single-card draw). I literally run clients’ energy through my system and help them process whatever they are processing, and this can last 1-3 days. I’m pretty good at releasing someone’s energy after a reading, which is why I can offer this kind of “energetic processing service,” but the process itself can’t be avoided, because it’s literally how I am calibrated and it’s an important part of how I can be of service. Anyway, despite my mind’s doubts and my worries about how my change of course will play out, I simply have to forge ahead and follow my gut. For a long time I have followed my guidance on most things but ignored it on a few select things (like charging more), and it’s high time I knock that off. If I'm going to live by my intuition, then I have to live by my intition even (especially!) when my anxiety fights back.
TL;DR For now, all of my readings will be of the “whatever comes through” kind of style. This allows me to stay in a clear channeling state, align with higher planes, transmit the frequencies you are meant to receive, and be of service without interfering with your sovereign creation of your reality. I have always viewed my readings as energetic transmissions, but now I am called to take this more seriously and explore it further. I want every reading to be a magickal, synchronous experience. My energetic function is to receive large amounts of abstract energy, run it through my system, boil it down, and transmit it to you so that you can more easily receive the activations, inspiration, and downloads that are meant for you. You would, of course, receive all this energy without my intercession; I simply offer a way for you to receive it all in a more concentrated package. It’s like doing a shot of vodka instead of drinking a pitcher of orange juice with a shot of vodka in it. This is why I often think of myself as an “energetic distillery.” I have reimagined the kinds of readings that I want to do and have put up different offerings in my shop. In this new experience of constant change, I will continue to evolve and iterate on what I offer. Onwards and upwards!
See you in the Aether <3
*This post was migrated from my old blog. Originally posted 25 May 2021.
*This post was migrated from my old blog. Originally posted 25 May 2021.